A guest post by Sicarius, the Queen of Melonia
Wherein Her Royal Highness, Sicarius, the one and only Queen of Melonia recounts the tale of the formation of her Queendom; an excerpt of which was recently distributed with permission by the Kingdom of Dramabeans, thus averting war.
“How have dramas shaped, changed, or influenced your relationship to food?”
This is a very interesting question.
On a broad level, Korean dramas introduced me to the entirety of Korean cuisine. So you could say the answer to this question is “in a literal life changing possibly philosophical way”.
You could talk about how Kimchi and Avocado on Toast should be a legitimate menu option at some weird fusion alt-hip-neo-culture-technology café, because, it should.
You could also answer this with whatever story you have about midnight life-or-death convenience store runs in the middle of winter and a mental health WWIII, to get The Last Pack of Shin Ramyun.
But when I think about the two words “dramas” and “food”, one thing springs to mind first. And that is a little event on the fourteenth of September, 2017, that lead to me being crowned the Queen of an otherwise virtual Queendom.
Not to mention almost two years of Dramabeans in jokes, at least three hauntings, and probably the most successful word of mouth advertising scenario I ever have personally started, or experienced.
Everything changed when the Strongest Deliveryman nation attacked.
In September 2017, in the 11th episode of the drama Strongest Deliveryman, which is an otherwise well-meaning but lacklustre event, there is a sort of makeover scene.
(Wow, a makeover scene in a kdrama, I’ve never seen one of those before in my life, super original).
Yes well, the female lead, a Tom Boy CandyTM (wow so new and fresh) gets drunk (also never been done before), dresses up real pretty-like (unfamiliar territory), and sets out to go find her love interest, the male lead, and the man she likes, to seduce him (because why not) ((jokes it’s because
she’s jealous which is even better)).
This is not important. But it sets the scene.
On her way, she walks past three completely, highly, super, fatally important tertiary characters, who happen to all be eating a pale green popsicle.
They, of course, are in shock! Because the Tom Boy CandyTM is not only wearing heels, but a dress! And also lipstick! How truly scandalous! And also! This Tom Boy CandyTM is played by Chae Soo Bin! So she’s like… hot now! Because… she’s wearing a dress? Yeah ok, moving on.
This is also only mildly important but I promise I have a point to make.
So these stereotypically-shocked tertiary characters, drop their popsicles on the ground… (just thinking about it literally still gives me physical pain).
The name of this popsicle is actually never said in the drama, nor do you ever see the packaging. But since these popsicles are in every 7/11, every GS25, and every CU in the entirety of South Korea, I imagine the blatant naming of this PPL, because that’s what it is, is unnecessary.
Therefore what is this popsicle, and why is this scene so offensive.
This popsicle is a Melona Bar, made by the corporation Binggrae. They are Honey Dew Melon flavoured ice cream sticks. Basically. There’s not really an easy way to explain them other than that. And no, do not turn your nose up at the flavour Honey Dew, because not only is that fruit completely underrated and also amazing, but these ice lollies might as well be my ambrosia, if I were a Greek Goddess.
They are delicious. I love them. They’re probably my favourite popsicle of all time. I could eat an entire box of them in one day. They’re addictive and refreshing and scrumdiddlydumtious.
And they dropped. Not one. But THREE of them.
On the ground.
For the sake of a drunk makeover scene and some bloody product placement.
*pause whilst I take in a deep calming breath*
To witness the dropping of any ice cream on the ground is a tragic, heart-breaking experience, especially if you love food (like I do), and don’t like wasting it (like I don’t), and especially if you really frakking love ice cream (like I do).
To witness the dropping of three of your all-time favourite ice creams on the ground, is, for lack of a better hyperbolic expression, possibly earth shattering but definitely enraging.
The most obvious thing to do in reaction to this outrageous happenstance is of course rant about it on Dramabeans.
So that’s exactly what I did.
This rant, partnered with the fact that I told everyone to go try these Melonas at the end of said rant gained traction.
No. I mean like. A significant, surprising, ridiculous amount of traction.
It’s very hard to explain in words what exactly happened and the hilarity of it all but basically, Melonas on the Dramabean fanwall, blew up.
It started small, just a few people wanted to know about these treats from the rant, so went to the nearest Asian mart to find them. People who had previously known about them were reminded of them. And then everyone shared their stories about them on the wall.
Then it wasn’t just a few people.
It felt like every other day a Beanie was asking
a) what is Melona,
b) where is Melona and yes even, one better *Drax voice*
c) why is Melona.
(And also a myriad of other questions: does it come in any other flavours because I don’t really like melon ? *heretics* *coughs* Is it shippable? What stores have it in X part of Y country? Why is the box different here? Is my stock running out! How many do I have left? How many Melona can one Beanie eat in a minute? What happened in Melona land today? Is Melona + Ramen + Dramas the best combination? (The answer is yes))
All the Beanies were buying Melona bars. Left right and centre.
And to post about Melona bars on Dramabeans suddenly became one of those “things” you did; even people who didn’t know why they were doing such, went out and bought one and talked about it on Dramabeans.
This meant, I got tagged in posts. A lot. Because apparently it was all my fault.
It started off as small fad, it turned into running joke that saw me crowned Queen of an online, ever expanding trend empire known as Melonia, and still explaining to people 20 months later what the heck a Melona is.
One Beanie went to nine different stores just to try and find them.
Another Beanie got their whole family into them, and keeps them regularly in the freezer.
Beanies were even getting their own superfluous tertiary characters into them! Like the manager of their local grocery store.
And once, a beanie flew all the way to another country for a concert, and subsequently was given a freezer box filled with Melonas to TAKE BACK WITH THEM because their country does not have them.
It’s one thing to start a trend; it’s quite another thing to have people consistently think of you whenever Melonas turn up in dramas as PPL, and to go to the length of shipping this ice lolly just because you said they should try one. Like oh hey, I did that. I DID that?!
Of course there is the rumour that I am in fact a secret advertising bot working for Binggrae for the expansion of their Melon Flavoured Popsicle Conglomerate. You’re not authorised to know that information so I’m neither going to corroborate it nor deny it.
In case you hadn’t got the gist yet: Melona bars are delightful, they should never, ever be dropped on the ground, and if you haven’t had one, I suggest you go try one, right now. Or as soon as you can find a supermarket that holds them.
I am sensing some resistance still. It’s ok. I get it. Not everyone likes honeydew melons. Fine. Because you know what? They come in Mango, Strawberry, and Banana as well, because it wouldn’tbe a Korean ice popsicle if it didn’t come in what tastes suspiciously like that really famous Korean Banana milk, and that means there is a flavour for everyone.
And the haunting?
There is actually a fifth flavour of Melona Bar. The Coconut Melona. Now, I love coconut flavoured sweet things. I love Melonas, as we all know by now. A coconut melona would be some kind of otherworldly experience, I’d imagine. This flavour though, is apparently impossible to find outside of the United States of America. I, dearest friends, fellow beanies, and loyal subjects to the Crown of Melonia, live in New Zealand. I have been to South Korea, TWICE.
No Coconut Melonas. None. Zilch. Nada. 없어!!!!!
I have however, dreamt about them, three times in fact. I think the Powers That Be are playing a practical joke on me.
“You know what would be funny?
If the Queen of Melonia could never find a coconut one”
“Oh yeah you’re right that would be super funny”
“But she can dream about them instead”
“Right, right, hilarious”
WHY. WHYYY.
Ahem.
Next time I’m in the States, guess what will be first on my to do list?
Thus, the real answer to the question “How have dramas influenced your relationship to food”?
“Well anywhere between fifteen and thirty people think of me now when they eat a strange melon-flavoured popsicle, so I guess that’s something… Oh also, I’m a Queen”
P.S. they are #JunHoApproved.
